Barely Knit: She’s Baaaaack
Posted on 22 July 2010
The Steps
When I can, which is maybe twice a year or so, I join a think tank.
Of course, this group of men, who meet weekdays at a local cafe to share jokes, exchange political ideas, and plot the downfall of the Virginia Alcoholic Beverage Control Board, don’t like to call themselves that, but I apparently don’t care.
Today I was able to have a leisurely cup of coffee with this favorite group of grown up men types, and in between talking about cars and politics and the legalization of marijuana and how we might capitalize off of it, home-improvement came up. Well, not home-improvement, per se, since what I actually said was, “I’m ready to tear it down. It’s a fucking disaster.”
I live in a 103 year old house. I use the term “house” loosely, but it does have a roof and windows, which constitute the entirety of our life savings to this point. The thing is, it needs more that we could ever give it, though we could certainly make it more livable, but when we look at it our jaws drop and we sort of start mumbling and the neighbors look as if they might call the men in white coats and then one of us says, “The zombies…the zombies!”
It’s all downhill from there.
This behavior, to a lesser extent, happens in projects across the world in every different branch of anything-that-can-have-a-project-involved. Saving for retirement, planning your son’s bar mitzvah, grocery shopping, figuring out how to rob a bank–it all comes down to planning, and not the kind of planning it takes to skip school, head for those inviting mountains in the distance, strip naked, swim in a creek, and get lectured to by a forest ranger about being nekkid in his cricks. No, we’re talking about Planning with a capital ‘P,’ making lists, setting goals, taking small, manageable bites.
The same way I need to approach writing.
Ahem.
I have a habit of looking at the whole picture and running off into the distance screaming about the undead and Oh, the huge manatee!
But the annoying adage about any journey starting with a single pest…er…step, is, as vexing as it sounds, true.
I will not write a novel this morning, in the hour I have budgeted for writing. I probably won’t even finish this piece, but I will get something down, somewhere, even if it’s nothing more than an exercise, because it’s all part of building. And this is the thing I’ve forgotten, along with getting confused about something called…
Audience
I’ve not only been wondering how I will sit down and write a whole freaking book before my husband gets home from work, but I’ve been overly concerned with who will read it. The same thing has happened here on my blog, where I used to write all the time for fun, and didn’t think much about who would be reading it, because I pretty much assumed no one would.
When that started to change, and I developed a following (of four), I began to worry about keeping them happy, so I channeled what I was doing down a path I thought they would like, and before I knew it I was stressed out about how I couldn’t make everyone happy and what was I, anyway, a mommy blogger or a humor blogger, or a noir comment writer, or a rodeo clown?
All of which made me turn into a non-writer, which, as anyone can tell you, pretty much guarantees that one will not be published.
So now I find myself in the strange position of shouting a big Fuck You at my audience. Well, not exactly. But sort of. Because if I am paralyzed by the thought of the people out there, I won’t do what I am supposed to do, which is get the words down. It’s kind of like going to the prom, because if every girl thought about how miserable a time she was going to have, what with her ex and his new gal riding in the van with you, and your date getting blotto, and how they didn’t even play a single song from a John Hughes movie, not that you would have danced anyway, in your hideous, borrowed prom dress, no one would go. Am I right?
Of course I am.
Anyway, I’m back.
Take that, zombies!
14 responses to Barely Knit: She’s Baaaaack
Well mother fuck you too then. No, no really BKT, you can’t allow your audience to dictate what you write about. You write for yourself first and foremost. If you write about the things that you are passionate about, that matter to you then your audience will come. Or maybe they won’t. But either way, you’ve already won.
You see what a random, eclectic Rorschach test my blog is.
I’m so glad that you’re back!
I do notice how adeptly you are able to write about anything and everything and hold my interest and keep producing, which is my problem. I pigeonhole myself so I don’t know what to write anymore, and the name of the game is showing up, yes? Thanks, Scott.
Well, how to follow Scott?
Write what you want..it’s always been compelling, awesome, amazingly complex…. I guess it’s like walking out on stage and trying not to look beyond stage lights…
I get it, I have my own list of blocks and issues and problems that have me not writing the book either!!!
So glad I’m not the only one! Perhaps we should get together for coffee and discuss why we are meeting for coffee instead of writing our books.
If you make me change my blogroll again, I’ll, I’ll, I’ll have a great, legendary party attended by many of the most influential voices of the twenty-first century and leave you off the guest list. I’ll call you names, so many names. I’ll disbelieve you.
So fuck you too and welcome back.
You just leave your blogroll any old way you want, dear. I answer to “hey you,” “yo, bitch,” “woman!” and anything containing the word “hobo.” Also, “mommy,” but don’t tell anyone, mmmkay?
The only time I think you should tailor your writing to fit a particular audience is if you are marketing a product/service – in which case it is important to write in such a way that will appeal to potential buyers/consumers of that product.
Otherwise, you should simply be yourself. If you try to write a piece, tailoring it to appeal to a particular audience, you will only paint yourself into a corner and stultify your creativity.
Write what is important to you. Write from the heart. Write what you feel. You will find the words flow easily. And your audience will be attracted by the honesty of your writing. Let your audience follow you – rather than you trying to tailor your writing to follow a potential audience
I think that’s the perfect advice – let my audience follow me. And so I shall. Thanks so much, Duncan.
I have been following your blog for a while and have always enjoyed what I read. Whether you are discussing your life, or mommy-blogging, or sharing creative pieces, I have loved them all.
If there are readers who stop reading because of the content, they were never true fans at all. I keep coming back because no matter what you keep me interested and your writing style makes me think unlike what I read elsewhere.
Write about zombies, or hobos, or the boys you kissed back in the 80s, and I’ll keep coming back.
You have just made my night, Tara. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me, and reassure me. I appreciate it deeply!
Your writing is simply awful. Awful good. Fantastic in fact. I just discovered you and then POOF! Gone. Now back. Put the words down from your heart, whenever you can. Do not stop. My sister-in-law passed away after the birth of her second child. Her last words to me were “Never stop writing,” and I promised her. And it haunted me for years, but no more. There has been long stretches, and they are simply the thief that is time passing. It happens, but ideas are still brewing. Life is feeding us material. Relax and when the time is right, let ‘er rip. In a sea of internet voices, you have some quality readers who know the truth. You rock and roll.
This fucking made my day. No, actually, my whole fucking year. Because you, BKT, have this way of putting into words everything I feel, but for some reason can’t verbalize. Or type. Or something.
I haven’t enjoyed my blog for a long time now. Because I stopped doing it for me. In fact, was I not self-diagnosed with OCD and the fear of rejection, I would have quit it a long time ago. But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I think I’m finally ready to turn it into something I like again. And for all those who’d rather see the photos of kids in fuck t-shirts…well, F them.
I heart you, BKT. So glad you’re back.:)
Discipline. Wish I had it. x
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.