The Year is Still New, Yes?
Posted on 26 January 2012
Weight loss/home organization plans:
1. Permission to read the internets is only granted while standing up.
2. Netflix can only be streamed while washing dishes.
3. No one buy a new laptop charger for me for my birthday so I have to continue to walk up and down the stairs to retrieve mine, which is never on the same floor (defying laws of probability).
4. Lock keys in vehicle when within two miles of home, forcing me to walk to avoid confessing that I did that. Again.
5. Drink too much, forcing me to walk to avoid…(see above).
6. Throw up the following day. This makes up for excess drinking calories, and forces me to clean the toilet and take a shower. Winning!
7. Run over a gypsy with his grandfather in sight so I get cursed to be thinner.
8. Ask Stephen King to write a story about hitting a gypsy and getting cursed with the cleaning type of OCD. Run over gypsy, etc.
9. Write more words. Their weight is killing me.
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